You Are In Control

August 7th, 2009

by John R. Sedivy

iStock_000009822333XSmall Are you currently unhappy with your life? Do you wish you could make a change, but feel powerless? Are you looking to place blame on someone for your circumstances? If this is the case you should look no further than yourself.

You Are In Complete Control
Consider the following words from Viktor Frankl the author of “Man’s Search For Meaning” on what he describes as pan-determinism:

“By that I mean the view of man which disregards his capacity to take a stand toward any conditions whatsoever. Man is not fully conditioned and determined but rather determines himself whether he gives in to conditions or stands up to them. In other words, man is ultimately self-determining. Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become in the next moment.”

So to some extent it is true that others may be to blame for your unhappiness, however only to the extent that you allow them to have control over your life. You are in ultimate control of yourself, your path, and therefore your destiny – which can change at any instant. Frankl continues with the following:

“By the same token, every human being has the freedom to change at any instant. Therefore, we can predict his future only within the large framework of a statistical survey referring to a whole group; the individual personality, however, remains essentially unpredictable. The basis for any predictions would be represented by biological, psychological, or sociological conditions. Yet one of the main features of human existence is the capacity to rise above such conditions, to grow beyond them. Man is capable of changing the world for the better if possible, and of changing himself for the better if necessary.”

This is why predictions of the future do not work, and one can only approximate at best. Each person has their own free will, which can change at any moment, and is therefore self-determining – this makes such predictions impossible. One can only make rough estimates based upon an individual’s background, current environment, and desires. These factors can help steer a person by taking them into consideration.

Chart Your Own Course
Therefore it can be reasoned that you are in charge of your own destiny. I will ask the same questions that I started this article out with:

1. Are you currently unhappy with your life?
2. Do you wish you could make a change, but feel powerless?
3. Are you looking to place blame on someone for your circumstances?

Based on our preceding discussion we already know the answer to the third question. Although others may have influence, you are ultimately in control – therefore there is nobody to blame but yourself. This also links to answers to the first two questions. If you are unhappy with your life you should simply change it. And of course we know that you are not powerless to make a change – you hold all the power over yourself. The power others hold over you is what you grant them.

How To Chart Your Own Course
You may wonder how one goes about making a change in their life. It may seem easier said than done – however it really isn’t. It’s really quite simple. If you are unhappy with your situation, simply change. It does not have to be drastic. Quite the contrary, simple changes can make a difference. Are you merely “sheepwalking” or are you fully aware of your activities. Become aware of your feelings and surroundings – what makes you feel joy? What makes you feel pain? Add more of the joy to your life, remove the pain. Small steps in this direction will add up to big results.

For better or worse you are in control of your life!

-John R. Sedivy of Cape Cod Branding